Flamingos and forms
So here we are, 2024 and now an Independent Midwife (IM) and a Reproductive Medicine Consultant. Most of these blogs will be about the midwifery though, if you have any interest at all in the science bit then www.maternityinternational.org is also me.
The move to IM is a change I’ve wanted to make for the entirety of my nearly two decades of midwifery, and leaving the NHS has been a strange experience in and of itself. There are so many NHS rituals; 10.30am ‘free’ toast, never say the Q word; a total guarantee that at least one of the people eating Milk Tray chocolates will describe it as ‘naughty’. I’ve wanted to be an independent midwife so badly; it seems strange that I never quite felt I was ‘ready’ yet. In a sadder way, leaving the NHS right now felt like the only option, there is so much fear, so much iatrogenic harm, so little conversation about human rights. Moral injury is a concept that we desperately need to talk about because it is bringing so many excellent midwives to their knees and often out of maternity.
On a more positive note, there has also been some change and growth in me, some of it intentional, some of it just getting older (which is not the same as growing up, obviously). Whenever I start a new venture, I love the unexpected joy that comes with new situations, as well as the more predictable benefits that I am aiming for.
I’m so looking forward to being there for all the births people have booked me for, so enjoying the fact that there is a real and authentic sense of co-production, especially the power of the triad - Me (midwife), Chi (Doula and MaMa) and the amazing families we are working with. A sustainable and mutually supportive circle. I’m reconnecting with wonderful midwives who have been such an inspiration to me too.
And of course, there are some bits of midwifery which will never change - I gave up about 10 years ago on the promise that one day we would have decent, accessible and quick digital documentation. I mean, writing everything down four times, one of which WILL be on a paper towel, is just who we are now. But also, there is the fun- I was not expecting that, laughter and mutual trust being central, not superfluous. And I bought a new pool thermometer with a flamingo on top who keeps reminding me of this new fun and lightness. What do we want? More flamingos for birth!
